...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I fill condoms, not promises.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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