What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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