U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
