hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i dont even know how to be here
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
