The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
