So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i think i have two assholes
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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