is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
