When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
