Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
