i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
