You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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