She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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