My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Found your dick twin last night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
