I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
