He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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