Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
