I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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