Small penises have feelings too.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
