Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
