you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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