Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
