its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
