so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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