Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize