Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm getting married
To pizza
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize