she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
