Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
