only if we run a train.
done.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
