Can Purell be used as lube?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
