We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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