I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
