did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
