Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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