yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
