Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
