What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
