Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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