Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
