I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
