and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
