I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
