so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Sober January is a disaster.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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