BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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