Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
