Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
tell me about the eggs
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
