Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize