you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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