nut hugger
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
