Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
