In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
