careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
