Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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