I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
