He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
